Decision paralysis without work

This is just an #observation that I've encountered a lot since quitting my full-time job. It's easy to piss away mountains of time on trying to figure out what to spend my time on. Likewise, it's easy to dump mounds of energy on the anxiety of feeling like "I have all this time, I have the privilege of choosing what to do with all this time, so I should choose the Right™ thing".

It's easy to spend too much time optimising meal plans, todo-lists or cleaning the house when I'm unemployed. Which is sad because usually, the version of myself that's full-time working is spending work dreaming of the things I'd like to do with my now abundant free time. Where does this inspiration disappear to, and why do I forget about it or fail to access it?

I believe this is another instance of Creativity and criticism are mutually exclusive modes of the brain. I feel it's a flow state that induces the inspiration for what to do with my free time, but it's my analytical mind that sits down and decides what to do. Even if I write down the projects that hugely inspire me in the flow state, they can feel unimportant or drab in the face of my rational brain that's entrusted with scheduling my day (or my week).

Getting these two modes - the flow state and the analysis state - to play nicely together has been a challenge. My analytical self finds it easy to prioritise and continue rational tasks, so getting back into the flow state is a difficult task that often requires being forced to take a break from analytical work. The days where I spend the morning simply walking, running or working out (perhaps after a coffee) are the days I feel the best; not least because of the hormones that will make me feel better, but because I have had time to be in the flow state and reconnect with the source of my inspiration.

The problem seems to be:

1. How do I reliably reconnect with my flow state?
2. How do I recognise that I'm going to end up in an anxiety black hole from analysing what I should spend the next few months on (often for the second time in a month), before it happens?

Connecting with my flow state feels easiest through exercise, which also sets my body up to be able to sit and do thinking tasks in the high heat of the day (ie the hours where the sun gives you cancer). But also, pursuing joy for the sake of joy (through games, books and unstructured time) is probably a solid bet too, and one that I often struggle to prioritise.

Recognising that I'm about to over-analyse something is harder. If I snooze or repeat my task timers many times over for journalling, it's either a sign that I've underestimated the time required, or I'm creating excessive analysis for myself. So if I extend a journaling timer twice, it's likely I've created a problem for myself. The answer for what to do with my time is almost certainly answered by Meditations on what to do for work or What to do for work or 🏮 Aspirations. So if I catch myself snoozing my timers more than once, I think I should go for a 5 minute walk or try talk it out instead.